For those of you who don't know i've had natural hair all my life. Two years ago I decided to stop hiding it away and embrace it fully. It hasn't been easy. The increase of Natural Hair Care Blogs (NHCBs) and youtubers has helped but at the same time hasn't. What do I mean, all of a sudden there was all this beautiful hair to look at and then there was me.
I'm going to be real here, for a long time I felt like I drew the short straw when it came to my hair. I do not have wash and go hair, I do not have defined, organised curls. My hair is dense, unruly and sometimes a burden. Combs shred my ends and result in splits upon splits upon splits and then there are those pesky single strand knots (ssks) that seem to exist just to make me unhappy.
Don't get me started on products and how nothing seemed to work for me. Despite all of this I still had hope. I still wanted to make things work. I knew that my hair will never be silky and easy to manage and I settled. I settled for only feeling like I had beautiful hair when I did a flat twist out or some other out style that resulted in curls that I could wear loose.
This Friday all of that changed. I told you all recently that I was going to be cutting my hair and I did. Over the course of a week I'd take down an old twist, finger detangle and cut. Sometimes half an inch sometime three. But when I was finally done I felt like I had a chance at a fresh chance.
I had also been on the search for a new shampoo and conditioner, the ones i'd been using were on the verge of running out and I didn't know whether to repurchase or not. Before I did I wanted to try something new, something cheaper and more accessible so I did some hunting took a chance.
So there I was, almost damage free with a new shampoo and conditioner at hand, desperately needing a wash. I prepooed over night with condish, honey and oil. Nothing special. Then the next morning it was time. Time to see if this hair thing could work for me. I went all out. Shampooed in twists and actually took down each section to condition. I was thorough and determined. After I got out the shower I applied the leave in, sealed with castor oil and braided it all up to dry while I went to uni.
I get back from my 4 hour lab and my hair still isn't dry. I refused to let the fact that I had somewhere really important to be panic me. I restyled the braids, packed my stuff and began my two hour journey back to London. Once I arrived at my family home I went to the bathroom and proceeded to take down the plaits. My hair was about 20% damp but it didn't matter, it was going to get styled whether it liked it or not.
I split it in half, and left hair for a bang or pomp then put the top half in a ponytail. I braided the end then put the bottom half in a ponytail aswell. This time I gathered the tail together and folded the hair back up, I twirled the ends and pinned them so I had a kind of bun. Finally I loosely flat twisted the front and added a clip to the bun. And in less than ten minutes I was transformed.
My hair was the smoothest it has ever been thanks to the conditioner and the cut just gave my hair life. I look at these pictures and feel so at peace with my hair it's ridiculous. I drool over the texture. I feel special. In that moment I felt so beautiful. I felt regal. Do you know what I mean? I never thought I could get to this place where I fully embrace, accept and celebrate my texture. I nolonger feel like the uglier hair type, I don't feel inferior or unfortunate. I fully and wholeheartedly love my hair in all of it's forms.
I love that I can say that.
I hope this finds you well,